Because I don’t understand the game. I really don’t.
I tried to watch it on TV today, but I just couldn’t make any sense of it.
For one thing, I am using the empiric system, where “yards”, to me is the place at the back of the house. So, to me, “yards to go” essentially means you’re selling a piece of land. Anyway, now I know better. For other ignoramus-es like me, for those using the metric system “a yard” is roughly equal to 523 litres.
But the main thing that’s stopping me from enjoying the Superbowl is simply because “football” has a different meaning to me. My “football” involves 20 sweaty men (players) running on around on a pitch (field) trying to get the ball (ball) past 2 lucky chaps (goalkeepers) who get to move an average of 20 metres (103 gallons) a match (game). From what I saw in this morning’s games, “American” football (figure skating) involves a battalion of almost 1038 sweaty men running in and out of a field and in between “plays”, communicate complex game plans by touching themselves in ways that would’ve gotten them killed in most Arab countries.
There’s also the problems of the numerous stoppages. While one game flows almost seamlessly for the duration of the 2 halves, the other is stopped constantly by the endless stream of players who flies through the air better than the cast from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I suspect some of them are actually Kungfu Masters in disguise. One player could bump into another, and this other guy would fly 3 rounds through the air from the Secret Unseen Buddha Palm used by the first player. Sometimes, just the “air” from the attacks of these deadly offensive players is enough to make the other collapse into a useless, sniveling heap on the ground.
I know the American Footballers think they are tough. They tackle hard, they launch bone crunching lunges at each other, they stretch various seemingly vulnerable body parts during plays. But “my” footballers have the ability to walk/jog/jump/sprint off what looks like career ending injuries, as soon as the the referee decides to look the other ways. “My” footballers can walk off more than 5 career ending injuries in a match!
So, to prevent further arguments, I’ll keep my interest in Superbowl to the advertisements.
They are generally really enjoyable. And why shouldn’t they? They cost US$2.5million per 30 seconds slot. And that’s just for the airtime. Let’s not forget the production costs and the insane amount of endorsement fee “stars” are demanding these days. That is one 3rd world country beers, colas, cars and the Internet will not be feeding this year
Oh well, since the money is already paid, I’ll do my super phase shift and proclaim: Bud Light makes the funniest ads!!! Yes, yes, I know the company does not produce the ads themselves but their advertisements remain my favorite for pure stupidity and “dude”-ism. This was my favorite ad from last year
and the Higher Power of Unparallel Wisdom over at Bud Light ad central decided to bring back my favorite character…
BOOOOD LITE BOY!!
Genius!
Anyway, for those that are interested, and have too much time to waste (my intended viewership for this blog) can check out more than 1 decade (100 years) of Superbowl ads from this link.
ENJOY!
Clones are people two 