Green Lantern SUCKS!!!

Or how Marvel is kicking DC’s bloated ass in the cinemas when it comes to earning brownie points from fan boys’.

To be honest, out of all the summer comic book based blockbusters, Green Lantern was the one that I was most eagerly anticipating.

And what do I get? An overly loud, grossly pointless, highly forgettable and obscenely disappointing run-of-the-mill Hollywood swill.

Looking over at exhibit B… We have X-Men: First Class that I expected to Suck. I mean, come on… They destroyed all notions of conformance with the comic books by putting Havok, Banshee and Darwin(??!!!) on Xavier’s first team; they mixed and matched (what they think are) the coolest mutants to put in the show, changing the gender and race (Angel) or color and name (Azazel/Nightcrawler) when they have to; worst of all, we have a non-bald Prof X…and that is just wrong.

Yet… in spite of all that, First Class appeared to be stronger of the two films. At the very least. it was the one that I enjoyed more…

So what happened?

I put it down to one word: Simplicity…

I believe DC’s characters have the richer history (or non history) when compared to Marvel’s…

Probably because of this, they tried to dump EVERY Obscure Comic Book History Info into this one film, sowing seeds for what they hope would be taken up in the inevitable sequel (Hello Sinestro). But since it is impossible to cram 50 years of history into one two hour film, they started taking creative “liberties” and changing comic book canon. The alternative explanation is that the writers are too lazy to read through all  50 years of comic and came up with a script based on their own understanding.

In spite of all this, they seem to expect:
A) non fans to follow
B) fans to not complain that they got the history wrong
C) everyone else to not be confused to a point where they give up

Case in point… The villains.

For First Class, we have ex Nazi Kevin Bacon, I mean Sebastian Shaw leading a bunch of evil mutant to incite a nuclear war to hasten the growth of mutanity. There are side plots.. But they are simple and does not distract from the main storyline

For Green Lantern… We have *drum roll* PARALLAX that is possessed by Krona (???!!! Or is it the other way round?) and Hector Hammond. I am a Green Lantern fan and I am hard-pressed if you want me to tell you the whole history of Parallax and Krona in two hours. It is simply too complicated and you reeeeaaally have to follow canon to understand it. YET DC tried VERY unsuccessfully to do that amidst the narrative to flesh out Hal Jordan and the rest of the Corp in that same time frame. Tall order… Is it any wonder they crashed and burned?

Also, a bit of fan service doesn’t hurt either…

Even if it is to tell people to go f*ck themselves…


6 thoughts on “Green Lantern SUCKS!!!

  1. There are more reasons this movie is crashing and burning.
    I always thought that Green Lantern would be a great
    character to adapt to the screen because the ring could
    create anything, meshing nicely with CGI capabilities. So
    what does he make? Guns, swords, fists – at least four
    writers and no more imagination than this? Also, too many
    writers makes the movie feel like several unrelated films
    clipped together, it just doesn’t integrate well. There is
    zero chemistry between the leading man and the leading lady.
    Parallax was depicted as a cloud of swirling turds with a
    Ghostbuster face. It’s really too bad, because GL is a good
    character who had a lot of potential on the big screen. He
    deserved better.

  2. There are a lot of other reasons prople say this movie sucks. Green Lantern has a ring that can create anything, in a movie with advanced CGI that can create any image, and what does he make? Guns, swords, springs, car ramps – this movie had at least four writers and no one could be more imaginative than that? All those different writers hurt
    because the movie just didn’t integrate well. It sometimes seemed like several different and unrelated movies pieced together choppily and haphazardly. Add to that, the chemistry between the leading man and the leading lady was pretty close to zero. “Paralaxitive” pretty much describes the main villain, who looked like a cloud of swirling turds with a face from Ghostbusters. Characterization was minimal, motivations were not well developed, and the overall quality was very uneven. Mark Strong was a convincing Sinestro, some of the Oa and space scenes were well done, but as one critic put it, about the only thing this movie has going for is its eye candy.

    When I look at bad superhero movies, such as Superman IV, Batman and Robin, Catwoman etc. It strikes me that these movies were made by people who didn’t take the characters very seriously at all. Having little respect for the characters led them to see the heroes as suitable only for juveniles and to present them accordingly. One thing about Christopher Nolan, he takes the Batman character very seriously and makes a movie like he’s making it for adults. I wish GL had received similar treatment, he’s too good a character for his movie to spiral down like this in the box office. Great potential, mostly wasted.

    • Can’t help but agree with you.

      Think Green Lantern has some of the most engaging backstories of most of the superheroes that are around today. Lack of respect for the source material and trying to kiddify the character for a younger audience made this a Horrible horrible movie..

  3. I hardly comment, but i did a few searching and wound up here Green Lantern SUCKS!
    !! | Clones are people two. And I do have a few questions for
    you if it’s allright. Is it only me or does it seem like a few of the comments look as if they are written by brain dead visitors? 😛 And, if you are posting on additional online sites, I would like to follow everything new you have to post. Could you list of every one of all your communal pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

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