The Scatter of Death

ibuki kunai

 

This is my first piece after the elemental series. So came up with one of Street Fighter’s resident ninja school girl, Ibuki performing her trademark move – Kasumi Suzaku

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Just when I thought it was safe to watch movies based on fighting games….

I mean “Dead or Alive” was seriously awesome. They got the right ingredients. Enough camp, enough cheese, and of course, enough boobs. Also, the show does not take itself too seriously. Always a good thing when your base material is not.

Anyway, the latest news (for me) is that they’re going to make a new Streetfighter movie. Probably just in time to cash in on the hype surrounding the soon-to-be-released Streetfighter IV. (here’s when I go wooooohooooo….) The spin is that this new movie will not centre around the normal “main characters” of Ken, Ryu, Guile or Sagart. Instead, they will choose to focus on everyone’s favorite underwear revealing fighter… Chun Li. That’s right… ol bun head will be getting her own movie. How do I know it? Well… the name of the movie is “Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li“, so…

So far, things are not going good for the show… the director they’ve chosen is one Andrzej Bartkowiak whose works includes such classics as “Romeo Must Die”, “Cradle 2 Grave” and “Doom”… all examples of “movies-that-should-not-be-taken-too-seriously-but-somehow-are”. Seriously, there was so much potential for “Doom” to be so camp that it’ll be good, but alas…

I think one of the biggest problems in the execution of the show would be the presentation of Chun Li. No one seemed to be able to pull off her character design with dignity. And many have tried…

Ming Na Wen in Street Fighter:The Movie
Chun Li, Qiu Shu Zhen, ChigMy Yau

including my favorite Qiu Shu Zhen (hint: not the one on theĀ  left) …

oh yes.. many have tried… even those that should have no business trying…

Jackie Chan, Street Fighter, Chun Li

The buns just do not come out well!!

So who’s the latest brave soul to challenge this role? It has to be someone that does not realize that taking on certain roles will destroy their entire careers. There are just some roles that you do not take because your whole life will never be the same again. For example, any role that require you to play opposite ANY Warner Brothers cartoon characters. They are cute. You are not. Also, Bond girls… there’s a reason why the series is named after him.

I digress, the latest challenger is non other than our favorite Kristin Kreuk, aka Lana Lang. You’d think that she would want to put “Eurotrip” behind her and build on whatever credibility she’s gained from “Smallville” or “Partition”. Oh well..

While she’s certainly a looker (I am a fan), she might well be the last major contributor to why this film is doomed to failure. Already there is potentially no camp and no cheese, now there’s also… no boobs!

Kristin Kreuk, Chun li

Oh… there’s also an actress in the show by the name of Moon Bloodgood… So cool in an entirely hippie way…