Totally Suckered

Be still, my beating heart. I think I might have just found my Movie-of-2011.

In all sense of the word, this film reeks of “Exploitation”, or should I say “Sexploitation”.

The (awesome) trailer features every fantasy a pubescent boy could dream of… and then some…

First off, there are the Girls. Girls dressed in ALMOST every form of outfit that would not look out of place in Hugh Hefner’s mansion (Dominatrix Leather, Catholic School girl, GI Jane with Fishnets, Warrior Princess, Steam Punk/Princess Leia mix)

Then there are the machines and weapons. Guns, Katanas, Broadswords, pistols, zero fighters, Zeppelins and what looks like a deformed Big Daddy with a bunny face on it.

Last, and definitely not least, there are the Samurai Robot Zombies (Never thought I’ll see the day when I get to see these three awesome words side by side).

I am just amazed that Someone took this long for someone to go “Hey, you know what’s a good idea? Putting them all together in a two hour feature!”

I’m just not sure it is such a good thing that this Someone is Zack Snyder. Although he completely lobotomized Watchmen, he did come up with the delightful Sunday afternoon family flick, “Dawn of the Dead” and the absolutely drool worthy “300” (of course, I meant this in the most ungay way possible). Apparently, this will be his first totally original production. Judging from the trailer, we would be expecting quote worthy gems, such as:

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”


But like I’ve said, the dialogue is probably the last thing on your mind when you talk about a movie like “Sucker Punch”. I’m trying very hard not to read any news or watch any more trailers for the show as I really want to be hit by the duh-ness of the script while I watch those big beautiful things flash before my eyes. I am talking about the comic-book-styled multiple combination posters of course.

I predict that these will be the most wallpapered (snigger) posters in teenage boys’ rooms this summer.

And who can blame them? For now, the movie really does look like it has EVERYTHING. The only thing missing is probably an onscreen cat fight between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.

Did I mention the Girls?

In every form of fantasy outfit available to Mankind?

I mean what’s the worst that can happen?

It is slowly turning out to be like the spiritual successor of one of my other favorite movies of all time.

2007’s “Dead or Alive”.

A pure sword-and-breast, shamelessly B grade, sexploitation flick, if there ever was one.

What’s not to love?


Happy Halloween!!

One of my favorite ongoing comics for the moment has got to be the Walking Dead.

Besides being a comic about Zombies (and EVERYBODY loves zombies, right?), it’s a comic with a lot of heart and plot twists that knee you in the balls till it blows out your brains. I had been hooked on the series since I first saw the tagline (if you can still call this a line)

“How many hours are in a day
when you don’t spend
half of them watching television?

When is the last time
any of us
worked to get something that we wanted?

How long has it been
since any of us really
something that we WANTED?

The world we knew is gone.

The world of commerce and frivolous necessity has been
replaced by a world of survival and responsibility.

An epidemic of apocalyptic proportions has swept
the globe causing the dead to rise and feed on the living.

In a matter of months society has crumbled,
no government,
no grocery stores,
no mail delivery,
no cable TV.

In a world ruled by the dead,
we are forced to finally start living.”

Which self respecting arts student would not love a pseudo intellectual prose like that??

Seriously, Robert Kirkman (creator/writer/Overlord Supreme) of the series ensured that the Zombies are the least frightening thing in the entire series. To me, it’s a study of the human condition – how disgustingly degenerate and how surprisingly noble when we are forced to our extremes.

So now, on Halloween (days of all days), they are launching the Walking Dead TV Series!!

The arts student in me is inclined to point out the irony of how they fly in the face of line one of the tagline (“How many hours are in a day when you don’t spend half of them watching television?), and I probably would have if they put some two bit director/writer into the project.

I am still skeptical about how well they can translate the comic I love onto the small screen, but putting Frank Darabont (Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption, two awesome character drama) at the helms seems like a pretty damn fine start.

Plus, the trailer looks so darn cool!

I might be jumping my guns but if Darabont can match Kirkman’s flair for characterizing the ragtag band of survivors, putting them through the rollercoaster extremes of hope and hopelessness, this just MIGHT be THE TV series of 2010 and beyond.