Return of the Panaromic Covers

Remember the comic buying craze in the 80s/90s where fanboys buy comics in bulk to collect the ultra rare variant covers? Those were the days of gimmicks such as holographic covers, die cut covers, fold out covers, pencil sketches covers, and my favorite the “combine our 1000000000 difference covers to form a hug-eass awesome poster” covers.

Marvel has done it again with Siege… Apparently the variants of Siege combine to form this little treasure… The look on Norman Osbourne’s face is priceless!

And now that they just announced the offshoots for Siege  (namely Siege: Captain America, Siege, Spider Man, Siege: Loki, Siege: Young Avengers and Siege: Secret Warriors), they decided to follow up with the announcement of the 5 variant covers by the super talented Marko Djurdjevic. The covers for the issues will form the panorama below.. Simply awesome…

While we are on the subject of variant covers, I decided this to be one of the best I’ve seen in recent times… For Blackest Night #3

Speaking of the ongoing feud between Siege and Blackest Night, Marvel just issued this little press release to comic book retailers…

In an effort to provide assistance to comic retailers in 2010, Marvel is offering retailers an opportunity to turn unsold comics into an extremely rare Siege #3 Deadpool Variant!

Retailers – for every 50 stripped covers of the following comics sent to Marvel, you will qualify to receive one FREE Siege #3 Deadpool Variant.

Is it any wonder most of the listed titles are Blackest Night Tie ins? Apparently, retailers had to order large quantities of these Blackest Nights Tie Ins in order to get super rare limited editions of Green Lantern power rings.

And said Deadpool Variant?

There’s something about Mary

And so they’ve done it. After unmasking him, Marvel finally decided to fuck with more than 20 over years of continuity, and take Mary Jane away from Peter Parker (aka Spider Man). Is it a divorce, you ask? Is it separation? Is it death?

No… Being a comic book (always the bastion of truth and reality), they decided to annul the “Marriage” by… having Peter Parker make a deal with the Devil????????

For the record, the writer Straczynski (whom I have immense respect for) publicly decried the move, saying : “there’s a lot that I don’t agree with, and I made this very clear to everybody within shouting distance at Marvel, especially (the editor and artist for this atrocity) Joe Quesada…” Straczynski (wooooo… you know you really like someone when you can spell this ridiculously spelled name, like Mr Mxyzptlk <dun ask….>) was apparently so pissed by this arc that he threatened to take his name away from the last 2 issues of the arc. You go, boy…

And check 0ut the lame “official” plotholes:

On how to explain why the Devil wants something as lame as a marriage when compared to his traditional currency (the soul):

“But as payment, he wants to wipe all memory of Peter’s marriage to MJ from all but one part of their souls, so that he may listen to those parts’ pain for the rest of eternity.”

As if that is not ridiculous enough, they make use of this “deus ex machina” to resurrect (previously) dead characters, as well as wipe out all continuity issues that they do not like with the MOST RIDICULOUS of reasons.

On the current Peter/MJ situation:
“Peter and MJ had not been married but had “dated seriously for years,” yet she does not know that he is Spider-Man, and that she has moved to California to become an actress”

On bringing back Harry “I am the underachieving, whining and lame Son of Green Goblin” Osbourne.
“Harry Osborn is not dead but has been living in Europe for many years.”

And on one of the BIGGEST comic event of last year, the unmasking of Peter Parker to the world as Spiderman, comes my favorite excuse of them all…
“Although some people seem to recall that Spidey unmasked himself during Civil War, no one quite remembers whose face was under the mask.”

How stupid do they take us for???

And to add further salt to the wounds, the editorial actually reads:
“Any questions? Hey, don’t ask us — we’re new here ourselves! Anyway, the past is past — so don’t look back, look forward, to the next great epoch in the ongoing saga of Spider-Man: Brand New Day!”

That, to me is like saying, “We dun have a clue why we are doing this and we dun care. You still pay money to read this shit, so please, ignore the fact that we are treating you like lil naive babies and continue giving us your money”

There can only be so much suspension of disbelief

The moral of this whole story? If you ask me, this whole thing reeks of editorial mandate at the Merry Offices of Marvel. A mandate that ignores the opinions of all who supported and love the franchise for years. A mandate the sweeps through past promises and defies common sense. More importantly, a mandate that insults the intelligence of its supporters by the smug proclamation: “I know what’s best for you better than you, so shut the fuck up and fall in line like the rest of the sheep”

Sounds familiar?