I could be ignorant but…

What’s the deal here???

Middle East peace… it’s apparently the biggest thing to happen on the news lately. So Bush invited some people over for tea and they’re shaking hands and agreeing to progress towards peace.

 

Well done.

I have no doubt that this is a big step forward, but watching CNN, I could not help but blister at the cheek of this guy!

 

First off, let’s start off with some semiotics… Bush gave a rather long speech (why wouldn’t he?) with both Mr Abbas and Mr Olmert standing on either side of the podium while he was GIVING THE SPEECH… I don’t much about international politics and protocols, but I was under the impression that those positions are normally reserved for the First Lady (Bush’s) and/or the goons that block bullets. This stinks badly of a well planned photo op. To make sure that all (press) present will HAVE to take these “historic photos”, and hopefully plaster them all over the front pages.

 

Ok fine, they might be there to show him support. But when it is finally their turn to speak, the translators assigned to translate their speeches to MILLIONS of people all around the world were…. 1) a woman and 2) a guy that made Mr Olmert say that “this is an impotent conference”

 

I understand that it might be difficult to find capable people who can speak both languages fluently but come on, this conference did not happen overnight. Conferences like these are hard to plan I’m sure. Think of the diplomatic protocols and invitations to send out. The press to invite. And more importantly, those NOT to invite or as I call them “People who report the truth”. No matter, silly me, I thought that planning a conference like this would be SLIGHTLY less taxing on logistic and human resource than say… staging a full scale war.I mean these are the same people that planned and executed an attack on a helpless nation based on nothing but fiction in less than a month. WMD is not a dirty word.

I have no issues with female translators, but it is kind of hard to take a grown man seriously when he is standing on a podium and out of his mouth comes a squeaky voice. Please please don’t get me started on the “impotent conference”.

 

Next up, the news casters were gushing on and on about how historic this event is and what a big progress it is, and I quote “This is the first time that something like that has happened for the past 7 years”!

 

Now, I might not know my maths and current events very well, but what else happened during the last 7 years? Hmmm… Yes, I believe that Bush was elected President. So, now we are applauding him for FINALLY getting off his tush to get something done??? This is not an issue that just sprang up recently. For goodness sake, it’s been more than 50 years!!

 

Recently, I read an article about the difference between a “mediocre” leader and a “fantastic” leader. Summary of that article, “fantastic” leaders will not go with the conventions of the masses and be able to find success through their path by thinking “out of the box”. By this yardstick, Bush has been a really amazing leader. But in some parts of the world, namely mine, we have another name for these people who insist on doing things their way, no matter what others, including experts might be saying. We call them idiots. Don’t get me started on the War on Terror, Leave no Children Effect and Global Warming…

 

I don’t know, maybe Bush is trying his best to be the best leader that he can be. I mean it would be huge if he could bring peace to the Middle East… He’ll be like Reagan with the Cold War. He won’t end up being “mediocre” like Clinton and even his own pappy and go down in history as “fantastic”. God knows, he’s been trying for the past 7 years; blatantly ignoring information from unreliable sources like “books” and “experts”.

 

But like I’ve said, there is no doubt that this IS a big step forward. Maybe the guy finally realize that he can make a difference and start something that matter. That would be great but being the cynical bastard that I am,

 

I say this stinks of one big photo op for him to stamp his legacy. But whatever… the ends justify the means right?

 

Tell me that I am wrong.

The Day Before the Exams

I’ve mentioned earlier that this is the examination period, which to me, normally means me using what I’ve learnt so far and applying scientific knowledge, to explore, and exceed, the limits of common sense.

Almost exactly 24 hours ago, I was sitting at this exact same spot with a very big problem. I cannot concentrate on the study materials I have on my desk. There were minor distractions like I was online, the TV was on and my eyes were technically glued to my PSP, but let’s not get started on these.

I knew I had less than 8 hours left to finish revising 21 topics for this morning’s paper. Now many people, faced with this problem, would solve it via some low-tech, unscientific method such as switching off all distractions, find a quiet spot and diligently plow through an average of (21 / 8 = ) 2.625 topics per hour. Having decided long that I am not “many people”, I rationally made the decision to maximize my studying by – remember, this seems like the most wonderful idea at that point of time – Google “Concentration methods exams -porn”.

Now, I know anyone who is reading this might be rubbing your hands in glee thinking “I know where this is heading…” and you would be right, there is “concentration pornography” … it’s intense, but that’s a topic for another day.

Anyway, I found out that one of the “New Age” methods of focusing is by self hypnosis. It seems interesting, and one of my lecturers was mentioning that very day about how he uses yoga and meditation to get into a trance-like state when he really needs to concentrate on a task at hand. I figured that it must be fate that I found this article (and also, hypnosis is a million times more interesting than “Advanced Electromagnetic Waves”. Imagine the power I’ll have!!).

I spent the next 2 hours reading up on self-hypnosis and how it can affect your outlook and mental landscape. It can change the way you look at things. You’ll be able to induce “frames” of mind at will and “wield your mind like the powerful tool that it is” (Direct Quote). Testimonials from people who believe reports improved creativity, higher success rates at quitting bad habits, painless child birth, etc… Do you know what that means? Yes, I effectively have (8 – 2 =) 6 hours left to study for my exams…

In summary, I’ll list some of the facts I’ve learnt. It’s by no means extensive, but it should get you started:

a) No matter how accomplished a real hypnotist is, he cannot make a grown man flap like a chicken. And if anybody tells you anything otherwise, he’s a dirty liar.

b) Hypnosis is a Science and treated very seriously in what I should refer to as “Some Circles” or “Non Dirty Liars”.

c) That you can “put yourself under” at the comfort and convenience of your own home for as little as $29 per pop. Payable by VISA and Mastercard (to Non Dirty Liars, of course). There is no mention of how you can bring yourself over again.

That, for me is the big deal breaker. Imagine going through all the time, effort AND money to learn the skill of hypnosis and just when you are trying it out, realize that you are not able to make a grown man flap like a chicken?

So I decided to stop, at least until the next test comes up. It is a very fascinating subject but one thing still bugs me…

Did I make you google “Concentration pornography”?

Everytime I have to study…

Or memorize some useless fact to pass an exam. This Calvin and Hobbes piece would spring to my mind, once again proving the eternal (hey… 10 years is a pretty long time if you’re my age…) wisdom of Bill Watterson…

And at the same time proving how ill disciplined I am.

And how easy it is to distract oneself when the Internet is on.

And how much rubbish one can spew when you’re on a roll.

And how many sentences you can start with “and” if you ignore all grammatical and sentence structuring rules.

And how I am going to fail a killer exam if I continue typing this nonsense.

And how I should stop pushing my luck…

And end here.

And hope for the best.

And prepare to forget all this nonsense once this is over.

I’m pretty sure I lost my train of thought somewhere now…

Let’s talk about Flying

I’m officially convinced that the power of flight ALWAYS comes with the power of super strong arms…

Call me a wuss, but that seems like a pretty hard pose to hold for long periods of time (no matter how hot the chick is)… and with the amount of gravity in play here, the only smile I’ll be able to plaster on my face will be one of pain… or relief, that no one is plummeting to their deaths yet.

I mean Superman is one thing… He is… Super… has Super Hearing, Super Speed AND most importantly, Super Strength! So carrying someone like that would be a piece of cake for him…

But Lois… She’ll need arms of steel to cling on to him like that… And don’t give me the bull that Supes is actually holding her by the waist… TRY holding someone by the waist like that for just a few seconds, the look that she’ll be giving him will probably be the 5-chakras-brain-destroying-stare-of-gruesome-and-most-painful-death… we’re talking about Major Skid Marks here.

Maybe it’s a Super Gravity Field, Super Magnetic Field…. Or maybe, just maybe, the cloak is strategically placed to hide a certain Super…. Wok.

Yes yes, I know it’s not a good sign for my mental health when I actually spend time typing a post discussing the feasibility of the actions of fictional characters, so in order to demonstrate that my mental faculties are still functional, I’ll have to say… PHHHBbbbtttttt………

The Pen!

For the first time since… I can’t remember when… I’ve finished all the ink in a pen! At the point of time, when the pen ran dry, and my (ugly) scribbles became (even uglier) non scribbles, I actually felt… I know this is weird, but it’s true… an inner peace… that I’ve accomplished something… something HUGE.

It’s been such a long time since I’ve actually written with a Pen. The last time I attempted, I got cramps writing a 3 page long letter to a friend. Pen welding muscles do degenerate after prolonged periods of non usage! It is a vicious cycle… I started out typing on the computer for most of my thoughts that need to be written down because my handwriting is ugly, and because I don’t write as often, the handwriting becomes uglier, and because my handwriting has gotten so ugly, I refuse to write and just use the computer to type down everything that I want. And the cycle continues. It’s the ugly handwriting computer nerd death trap. [(Ugly handwriting) (Computer Nerd)] that is… and not [Ugly (handwriting computer) Nerd]… or [(Ugly handwriting computer) Nerd]… or [Ugly (handwriting) Computer Nerd].

So… as I looked through my first pen filled notebook in a lifetime, I felt a sense of pride. The kind of pride a parent has for a child… no matter how butt ugly and disgusting the kid is.

A side tangent… I just realized that you can ALWAYS make fun of ugly people. Because no matter how bad the joke is, no one will ever get offended. If you make racial, sexual or religious jibes, someone of the particular group that is made fun of will take offense. But if you tell jokes about ugly people, no one will actually say “Hey! It’s not nice making fun of people like me!”

Prove to me that I am wrong. Find me someone that takes offence at ugly people jokes.

Some people can never truely die…

they just stop doing live performances…

There was a documentary on John Lennon on TV the night before and talks about his life, his ideals and the things that shape him into the man he is…

Was just reminded of the timelessness of some of his music that I have in my playlist. Songs he created with the Beatles, songs that he created in his solo career… There’s a certain timeless quality to the lyrics and to the tunes. They were a part of my growing up and I’ve always thought that they were as amazing then as they were a few decades ago. And now… it’s still as much an audio trip listening to their tunes as they were when I first heard “Till there was you” so many many years ago.

Yes… I’ve slowly but surely moved on from “War”